Finite

A few people have told me that I’ve been quiet lately. It’s true. I occasionally go on twitter and facebook, generally just to post something unrelated for what I’m “known” for. I treat my Birthday as my new year, so any resolutions technically go into effect on that day, and this year I just want to do more, but not in the way that many may think.

I use to write poetry, I use to draw, which made me happy. I use to have a deeper appreciation for dialogue and conversations that now easily annoy or bore me. I think this is latter is the result of the burnout I’ve felt for much of this year. I grow weary of all of the arguing that I do online with strangers. I’m tired of dealing with people so angry at my opinions, I’m tired of giving them any of my energy.

I want this to be a kinder and gentler year in all ways possible. A part of that is to work a lot on myself and how I react to, and let these little online encounters with trans activist affect me. A part of this is to look critically at how I approach the topic, is what I’m saying relevant? Is it un/intentionally mean spirited? How can I approach all situations and conversations with more empathy for who I’m talking to or about? And how can I balance that with my arguments, which I understand are hurtful to a few people. How can I minimize that pain while remaining steadfast in my convictions? without budging? I always feel like I can explain myself well enough, but when attacked I want to be able to deflect better. I use to go the route of extending kindness, but I simply grew irritated at how often that kindness was shit on. You can’t always shut them up with kindness it turns out, they will hate you anyway. ultimately it’s best to just not invest in the opinions, good or bad, of strangers.

There is a lot going on in this world of ours, and there is only so much one can do, but I want to try to do more. For the last couple of years or so I’ve been so focused on a singular topic. I think I’ve essentially said everything I have to say about it, and I have a calling to speak about other injustices/ problems/ topics here in my home state, my country and worldwide. All of which leads me to this…the last post on Whoiscis. Thank you all so much for reading this blog over the past two years. Much love my friends! See you around!

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5 thoughts on “Finite

  1. While this bums me out, I totally feel you. I, too, hate that I am focused on one thing & even in my Discussing Gender Critically group, I opened it up to new things; basically, if it’s about women & feminism, then it’s cool to post about it there.

    But on my blog, I also feel like I have said all I can & that my posts now are kind of redundant. So I’ve been posting less & less, in these bursts of nothing for weeks & then -BAM!- I post 2 or 3 blog posts in just a couple of days time. I only post when the mood strikes me & lately, I’ve just been too damn tired if hashing & rehashing the obvious crap.

    One difference though: I dont argue w/men – actual men or women claiming to be men – or the women who argue on behalf of these men. I just delete their comments & move on to the next.

    Blah, I’m digressing big time here. Suffice it to say that while I am sad to see you not doing this any longer, but I -completely- understand!

    Peace to you, brother.

  2. I think you’ve brought a resonant and distinct new voice to this topic. Maybe you are just a little ahead of your time 🙂
    Driving home today, I was wondering at how to more effectively reach out and open up more polite discussions on this.
    It’s hard to write in a revolutionary manner. If I knew how, I would, and I’ve tried. May some time for reflection help you find new words and thoughts.

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