I imagine this post will upset some people and opinions on it may be polarized, but it’s just a mental sketch that I’ve been rolling around in my head. A totally unlikely, but not impossible “what if”? My take on how the ludicrous MRA inspired MGTOW movement could be re fashioned as something that could be more beneficial to women as a class and individually. I also think the individual benefit could extend to both sexes.
What if male allies truly decided to go their own way in regards to their romantic and sexual lives? If supposedly pro-feminist men get the picture of how harmful heterosexuality has been to female people, how problematic PIV is, the rates of DV from males toward females, then shouldn’t it be a logical next step to say “I’m not participating in this.” ? I’m simply asking, or observing and trying to understand the heterosexual, or female partnered male ally and how that can be reconciled with what we know?
We know that homosexuality isn’t something that is determined genetically, there isn’t a gay gene and while very appealing due to the feeling of lacking a choice in the matter, perhaps especially for male people the “Born this way” adage just doesn’t add up. It’s a weak and flimsy argument and a response to being beat down to the point of surrender. We throw our hands up and say that we have no autonomy in how we feel. A part of me understand this. I’m not politically gay, I don’t feel I ever made a conscious choice to be attracted to men and not attracted to women, it’s just how things played out. However one thing I won’t do is discount those who have said they have made the choice to be gay or lesbian. In a way Christians and other detractors are right about the choice to actually *BE* gay. Indeed I did choose to pursue my life the way I saw fit, in the way I wanted and in the way that felt right. I choose to follow my heart, and that was my choice in the matter. As far as the base sexual attraction goes though I don’t think I gave that thought either way. It wasn’t a choice, it was just there. But who am I , as a pro-homosexual to shun those who now exclusively date the same sex for whatever reason? No one. So I don’t do it.
Heterosexual people have told me that I take a militant stand on heterosexuality and they find that hypocritical considering what homosexual people have faced. I understand people have individual feelings on the matter, so my suggestion is always to not personalize it. Heterosexual people haven’t been terrorized by homosexuals, it’s been the other way around. The world around us is the result of heterosexuality, which in my opinion is rooted in male dominance. I believe that on some level all heterosexually paired men are participating in male dominance at a deeper level, and until that is broken will continue to do so. Heterosexuality must be critically deconstructed for a better world, and why leave this all up to women? Why, with what we know about over population, pollution, in-sustainability, female oppression, harms of PIV to class female Etc. do so many of us overlook a key component? That men could sexually withdraw and/or abstain from women- and shouldn’t those of us who consider ourselves allies to women consider doing so? Am I telling you to go gay or be celibate or otherwise I hate you? Not really. Am I saying that you may be on your way to being a better person if you do? Maybe a little bit. Just food for thought. Want to talk about this? Leave me some comments, I’m interested in having this conversation!