Why I don’t “Respect pronouns”


Ok, I admit it, I am one of those people who actually prefer “they/theirs” over “he/his” or “she/hers”. I’ve felt like that for a very long time, and I can’t quite discern why. I very much believe that male is male thus “he”, and that female is female thus “she”, but when speaking about most people I find myself gravitating toward the “gender neutral”. This may or may not be problematic and clashing with some of my other thoughts- Like how I believe that male violence must be named, and female centric issues must be named as such thus HE killed , HE raped, HE etc. and HER reproductive rights.  I wouldn’t extend “they/their” to mask male violence or deny female reality, yet I will casually use it. I mean does it matter that he turned in a paper or that she turned in a paper? They turned in a paper and I don’t care. In most cases I find pronouns pretty irrelevant. 


 I get accused of “misgendering” a lot, in that I’m not respecting someone’s chosen pronoun, rather, I’m using their pronoun to distinguish sex (which in fact is using the pronoun properly.). This is generally occurring in conversations where biological sex is the topic, or when M2T people are being misogynist, making threats etc. Of course I’m going to use “he” in these conversations.  If you are a respectable person they/them are almost automatic. While I’m not going to have the INCORRECT pronoun forced in my mouth, my goal isn’t to strike a nerve. If “he” is hurtful or if “she” is hurtful and you’re a friend, or someone who isn’t an asshole then I avoid using them. However I’m not, nor should I or anyone, actually be expected to lie to appease another’s feelings. When we (gender critical folk) are accused of “misgendering” what we are actually doing is telling the truth.  “He” and “she” denote sex, lets be honest about that and sex is immutable.


Lets not even get into any of that ^. Because that’s just silly. I can’t even say these made up pronouns without smirking. It’s ridiculous. I understand many of you want to “smash the binary” but applying made up words to yourself isn’t going to make that happen, lying about your sex isn’t going to make that happen, Ignoring reality isn’t going to make that happen. What we would need for that to  happen in reality would be more intersex births and more acknowledgment of a true biologically based third sex. Until then, why humor snowflakes?  maybe I am an asshole, but you’re not revolutionary, you’re just annoying.



5 thoughts on “Why I don’t “Respect pronouns”

  1. Reasonable. I also find myself opting for they/their/them when discussing someone I don’t know in the third person, or falling back to standard pronouns when the sex of the person is known not to be an issue. It’s my concession to politeness. I don’t do made up words and I’m no telepath.

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